Square Heads

Square Heads[]

Square heads are a type of prisoner in Battleblock Theater with there being 64 Square heads in total. Square Heads can be purchased with gems in the gift shop by using the Square Prisoner Concession Device.

List of Square Heads[]

Picture	Name	Description
	George	This is George.
	Roboturd	How does the saying go? Every creature on the planet poops alone?
	Calvin	Only the smell of fear motivates Calvin to act. And when he does... it is nothing short of glorious.
	Carrots	Carrots are a great source of Vitamin K. What happens when you go over your daily recommended dose of Vitamin K? This. This happens.
	Barry	Bears have a long and fascinating history on the stage. Barry, however, is just a guy with an outer ear condition.
	Jackson	Jackson really likes his blanket.
	Born With It	How does he do it? Simple: cat oil. How you get cat oil is less simple.
	Simon	An outlaw with a heart of gem. A heart of yarn. Sprmfff. A heart of heart.
	Depth Perception	Thank goodness the world is only 2 dimensional.
	Dental Bill	Deceptively expensive. Total gem digger. Insurance just doesn't cover the stuff he demands.
	Brutus	The cats took over just moments before the great ape rebellion. Years of planning, wasted.
	Bulbus	An abandoned amateur clay sculpture, Bulbus still (somehow) manages to function.
	Gordon	Molecular gastronomist and inventor of seaweed pie. Life on the island has elevated his creative juices only to be shackled by the tyranny of his wet food loving captors.
	Gruyere	The buggy bumpers are comin' OFF!
	Stumble Buns	Some say I'm a dreamer...
	Happy	That's right.. you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Nah, I'm just kidding: this guy is a huge bummer.
	Lightning	He got made fun of growing up.
	Thomas	From barrister to politician to inmate.
	Lee	Lifts boxes nearly all day. Writes music all night. No ability to be upset.
	Jed	Jed will get you rich, just get him out of prison and he'll show you. You can trust him.
	Aaron	Aaron's favorite stage of grief is denial. That and chapter 4-5.
	Abe	Abe doesn't say all that much but I think he's got a seriously deep soul.
	Captain Chrysanthimum	"That's the last turd out of you, Captain Chrysanthimum!!" said the evil villain.
	Charlotte	Porcine is sublime, but only when you're on time.
	Cease and Desist	Only the smell of fear motivates Calvin to act. And when he does... it is nothing short of glorious.
	Sweet Tooth	A face full of pain and no regrets.
	Hark	Hypoallergenic being of love and domestication.
	Beezle Bub	No description needed. Shhhhhhhh.
	Eye Strain	Seriously, just stop staring for a few seconds every hour.
	RazzleDazzle	More glitz, more gravy.
	Poopdeck Paulie	It's hard to find work as a poopdecksman when so few ships have a poopdeck anymore.
	Aloysius	Thinker and cat lover, Aloysius is deeply saddened by the kitty uprising. Consumed by frustration he turns to etching prisoner portraits on the walls of his cell.
	Tender Vittles, Sloth Extraordinaire	Supple-limbed, tree-top sweetie. Also, delicious.
	Octopeyes	Symbiosis presents itself in many forms. This is not one.
	Crazy Eyes	Descended from a long line of trackers. Crazy Eyes eats, breathes, and sees via... his mouth.
	Casserole	The taste of goodness is like chicken casserole for the soul.
	Billy	Pretty sure this isn't his real name, but we all call him this in the slammer.
	Chutney	From the family of condiments, this mixture of spices and vegetables will leave you both confused and possibly aroused.
	Ruggedly handsome man from my dreams	Once lost in the dreamstream only to be discovered in the forefront of your dream teams.
	Customer Service	Generally irritated, but he'll get you what you need.
	Pickles	Master of standing on a ball with one foot while smelling his armpits. Pickling is a rather complex form of chemistry that requires not only brainpower, but appendage dexterity.
	Blooky	Blooky went on an adventure with Stumble Buns. They were in a boat, just like Hatty and his friends. It's crazy. It's almost like the same story except no real conclusion until THIS story. The one you're playing right now.
	Terry	How to keep a cool head under pressure: just add water
	Home Remedy	Has a smartphone handy at all times. Freaks everyone out. Never diagnose yourself through the internet.
	Fuji	A thousand strikes!
	Reverse Toast Guy	It didn't catch on. It's just not toast without that little butt shape on one end.
	Pre-dater	Hunger. Hunger for the salty sea air and the briney taste of seawater that surrounds fresh prey. Hunger.
	Ian	Ian is best friends with Lee.
	Clock Cat	Clock Cat knows the exact time of your death, but all he does is make that face...
	Stanley Tinyhat	Stanely's hat is the only object that connects him to his past life.
	Tinsel Atwater	Mummified at the tender age of 162, only to awake a prisoner of brick and fabric.
	Socks	A quiet life filled with warmth and love.
	Vomitous Tots	Vomitous Tots only writes about himself in the third person, see? This way you don't know if someone else wrote it or Vomitous Tots wrote it, see? Keeps things a little hazy, see?
	Nikoli Piecovchit	A relic of the cold war, Nicoli longs for a simpler time.
	FizzleSticks	You gonna eat your fish sticks?
	Gaz	Gaz suffers from a gatro intestinal ailment called galdskjg;alskdjgfksldjgfalsd.
	Shapes	Comatose for 10 yrs, Shapes found solace at sea.
	Reginald	Still feels really good about being called a genius.
	Henrietta	Henrietta went on a voyage once. A voyage that lasted 19 years. Landed her in the paper and everything. She was going somewhere. Then the cats came.
	Dan	The best guy I've ever known!
	Scuttlebutt	Muffled to the MAX
	Flowers	It's a buyer's market..........for now.
	Stephen	A former stock broker turned philanthropist. Stephen is a big softie.
	Sebastian	He was WITH him in the bookstore. He was WITH him in the swamp.

Trivia[]

In the Steam inventory the prisoners "Calvin" and "Cease and Desist" have the same description.
Hatty Hattington has a square head.
Without his hat, Hatty looks identical to George.
Ian appears on the Steam Trading Card.